"I must admit I don’t know why, reading your profile you come across as a bit of a pretentious hipster."

Hi you showed up as one of my ‘quiver matches’ or whatever. I must admit I don’t know why, reading your profile you come across as a bit of a pretentious hipster. Perhaps it’s your intelligence, I have not seen one profile in the entire two days I’ve been on this site that is as well written as yours. Although it would be a massive assumption to consider you intelligent based upon that. 

Now. I could write a resume. 
Tell you all about me. Like I am 
applying for the position of the 
guy you are going to hang out 
with on Friday, or whatever. But 
that would be boring and dull. I’d 
probably fall asleep doing that. 

Wait, I could list out 
interrogation questions! Ask you 
things like what you do for fun? 
or maybe something really 
deep… something like. “So 
where are you from?” You’d 
swoon, realizing that I care 
about where you are from and 
thus ‘where you’re coming from’. 
You’d get “all a flush” at my 
wit, right? 

Oh, I know, I could just delete 
all of this and type “Hey 
wazzup? Saw your profile. Ur 
cute! hit me back and we can 
chat” That would probably work 
best. I mean, that’s what 
everyone does right? So it MUST 
work! Shouldn’t it? 

How about instead, I do this. I 
am intrigued by your profile, 
and think it could be worthwhile 
to find out more about you. You 
know, talk, and answer those age 
old questions, like: 

"Is she a total basket case in 
"Will I fall asleep sitting next 
to her when we hang out?” 
and don’t forget… 
"Is she just a guy with fake 
pictures, pretending to be a 

So lets interact! Sound good? 
Glad to hear it! 
Lets get creative… 

So where are we going and why?
  1. doctordisaster said: Whyyyyyyyy do people this stupid exist?
  2. redneckzilla said: Tell him you’re roadtripping to a tv to watch a three day marathon of Hoarders and crying
  3. poststop said: h8 people who do this faux-i’m-not-engaging-with-okc thing and then write a screed longer than most people who admit up front they’re using the site for its intended purpose.
  4. philk said: for real?
  5. tmills said: Nobody expects the “Wait, I could list out interrogation questions” inquisition.
  6. someofmybestfriends posted this